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After Bitsy criticizes Ziba for enrolling Susan in preschool too early, Sami thinks that perhaps he and Ziba should find some Iranian friends. It’s too hard to keep up and fit in with the Americans.
I think Sami and Ziba shouldn't give up on Americans, they just need to find different American friends. Perhaps another working mother with a similar parenting style to the Yazdans. Or a different adoptive family whose approach to raising a Korean daughter isn't as miltant as Bity's.
Or do you think Sami and Ziba would run into the same difficulties with another American family?
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I personally do not think their problems are due to nationality issues. Maybe it is more about parenting styles and lack of honesty...
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that despite some important disagreements, Bitsy and Ziba have some kind of special bond, they share feelings about certain aspects of motherhood and the adopting process, and they give each other support. Maybe if Ziba was a little bit more open that could help to strengthen their friendship. So far I didn’t like that much Bitsy, but after reading chapter 4 she appears to me as an honest person. Outspoken and overbearing too, but transparent and with real nice feelings towards Ziba.
I agree with Claudia that it is necessary to communicate with others, to let people know how you feel. I am also hoping the confrontation will lead to a more open friendship that would, thus, turn into a more real friendship.
Thanks for writing Macarena! It would be interesting to see how the friendship between Ziba and Bitsy could evolve if Ziba was more open with her feelings and opinions. Without mutual sharing and honesty, it would be hard for the friendship to deepen.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the problem is an "American" problem. It's a Bitsy problem. She has a very hard time accepting other people's points of view which are different from her belief set.
ReplyDeleteMany Americans use daycare/pre-schools. These days most families need two-incomes to survive. Bitsy's is an odd mix of 1950's stern adherence to "family values" & 1960's social activism.
Thanks for that sharp assessment Kathleen! Bitsy is lucky to have the option to stay home with Jin Ho, not all families can afford to live on one salary. In any case, it's hard enough to be a parent without having to worry about criticism from one's friends!
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