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I was interested in the differences between how people perceive an unmarried woman and a widow in this chapter. Mori says "For a Japanese woman, to be unmarried carries the same sort of stigma that being unemployed holds for Americans - especially American men." (page 114). I wonder if this is still true in Japan. I know it is hard for people in the US who want to get married but haven't fallen in love or found the right partner. Being single can be hard, especially when you are the only one of your friends who isn't married. However, if a woman chooses not to marry or have children, some people may question her decision, but she is certainly free to live her life as she pleases, and she will probably find other women who made the same decision. There will always be a friend or a relative who will give you a hard time about not being married, but in general I don't think being single would cause others to judge you harshly.
On the other hand, "Being a Japanese widow is like being honorably retired. It is the only way a woman can be independent without being considered selfish." (page 123). I would agree with Mori that some American widows might also experience this type of freedom and independence. I'm curious to know about the status of single woman and widows in other countries - do either of these statuses carry a stigma in your culture?
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Hi, Jennifer. I am answering your question whether Japanese women still think that to be unmarried carries the same sort of stigma that being unemployed holds for Americans. The answer is "yes". If a Japanese women cannot get married, other people sometimes whisper behind her back "the reason she cannot get married may be that she has the serious fault". Of course I think this is a wrong idea.
ReplyDeleteAnd Japanese people sometimes call the marriage "eikyuu syuusyoku" in Japanese that means "permanent employment". I think this word shows obviously the difference about the thought of "marriage" between in Japan and in America.
Thanks Miwa - I've always thought that marriage takes a lot of hard work, but "permanent employment" isn't quite what I had in mind when I got married :)
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think Japanese spouses expect from their partner? I know it's hard to generalize, but I think many Americans expect the following things from their wife or husband: affection, companionship, love, sexual compatibility, shared interests and values, fidelity and honesty. Have I missed anything?
Hi, Jennifer. I think Japanese spouses' expectation is almost same as Americans'. We expect a lot: love, comfort, sharing interests and economic power... But of course it depends on the personality.
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