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Mori says "People in Japan often say that the marriages of Americans - which are based on sexual attraction, love, and romance - can only lead to divorce because sexual attraction and love can fade away so easily. Japanese arranged marriages are more stable, they argue, since these matches are based on suitability." (page 120)
I've always thought that the memories of falling in love with your partner can help sustain a marriage over time. When times are tough and problems occur, remembering the passion, attraction, and romance you felt for each other when you first met can remind you of why you got married in the first place. I do think the passion can mellow and fade for a couple as the years pass, but it's hard for me to imagine a marriage without love.
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I think love in a marriage is made up of many components: romance, adoration, respect, friendship, devotion etc. In an arranged marriage, there may not be romance to begin with but perhaps, in time, what began as respect evolved into more of these components that make up love.
ReplyDeleteHi Azalea - have you seen that you can change your relationship status on Facebook to "it's complicated"? I think marriage can be complicated, what goes into it and how it can change over time. How can we possibly expect our feelings to remain the same over a lifetime? If we're lucky, we will grow closer to our partners over time.
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