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Mori talks about the hardest part of living between cultures is deciding "what I can accept as different but well intentioned and what I cannot tolerate regardless of cultural differences." (page 47)
I think it is the most interesting part of living in another culture. What values do you absorb from your new home? Are there things you cannot accept in your adopted country, even if it makes life difficult for you?
I have a simple example and of course it's about food! Before moving to Italy, I would drink milk with every meal. That was a habit I dropped quickly when I arrived in Milan, and since that time, I've only had water or wine with my meals. But the Italians don't eat a "breakfast" - only espresso and cookies, and that was something I couldn't give up, no matter how many comments people made about how much I was eating in the morning. Thankfully my Italian relatives are now very understanding and always have cereal waiting for me when I come to visit.
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What struck me by Mori's comment was that this is something I identify in my normal life. No cultural divide to be bridged. I've always been independent and have struggled with people telling me what I should do/think/feel. As a child there was the typical bossy adults. Now, as an adult, I'm still coping with bossy adults! Only difference is that now they're friends/acquaintances vs. parents/teachers.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with trying to decipher when I need to accept their actions as misguided but harmless attempts to show they care for me - or when it's just a power trip.
Thanks for sharing Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteIs it also true that Italians don't drink cappucinos after dinner?
Very interesting point - it's much easier for me to accept advice about my behavior when I'm in a new situation or place and I'm not feeling very sure of myself. However unsolicited advice can be very hard to take. The worst is when someone I barely know freely tells me exactly what to do - it drives me crazy, but I can morely easily ignore it than when it comes from someone close to me.
ReplyDeleteHi Raintree - it is true that Italians only drink cappuccino at breakfast. Espresso would be served after lunch or dinner. I remember traveling with an Irish friend of mine to Florence. She asked for a cappuccino after dinner and she had to argue with the waiter to get him to bring one!
ReplyDeleteWhat impressed me most was the description about the difference between "faith" and "trust". Mori says "faith is a blind leap into the unknown, while trust has to be earned or proven over time"(page56). Of course it is the best to do all in "trust" as Mori says. But I am wondering if we can do that. I think we sometimes need also "faith" because the lifetime is limited. How do you think about that?
ReplyDeleteI think that if trust requires some kind of evidence or proof, we sometimes need faith. We can't know the future or predict all of the implications and consequences of decisions we make. Some situations and decisions require a "leap of faith" - you have to take a chance and hope and believe things will work out the way you want them to. Perhaps the greatest risks in life require faith. If we don't open ourselves to the "unknowns", we can miss out on many things.
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