Chapter 9: Comfort

I love how Mori described her colleague's ability to find a "happy medium between acknowledging my tears and saving my dignity" (page 206). This makes me think about the best way to comfort a crying friend. Should I try to get them to laugh? Do I give them a tissue and pat their back or hug them? Should I say positive uplifting things? Is it best to sit quietly and let them cry? Every person and every situation is different, so I suppose there is not one right way to comfort someone. I probably use humor often, to distract the person so they don't feel embarrassed about crying.

I often think about how one asks for help from friends and how to offer help to friends. As we talked about at the American Values presentation, Americans pride themselves on being self-reliant and independent, so for some of us, asking for help can be a sign of weaknesses or we worry we are bothering someone by asking a favor. Everyone is so busy with their own lives, we worry about being a burden. This in turn can make it hard to offer help to someone. We don't want to give our friends the impression that we think they aren't strong enough to handle their problems on their own. This is not to say that Americans don't have strong friendships, I think that sometimes the importance we place on privacy and independence can get in the way of giving and receiving help more freely.