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I enjoyed Mori's concept of how memories can tie us together. My sister is the memory keeper in my family. She remembers so many things that I have forgotten, and she often remembers them in great detail. Of course there are things I remember that she doesn't. As Mori says "it's a relief to know that none of us has the sole responsibility for remembering" (page 32).
Sharing the past is part of what keeps my sister and me close to each other, but are memories enough to sustain a relationship? I wonder if Mori and her brother would have a better relationship if they shared more memories of their mother. And does the power of memories lie in the retelling of them, like Mori and her mother reminiscing about their shared past?
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Yes, I believe memories, and maybe the whole past, can have a significant existence if they are told form generation to generation. But I don't think a common past could be enough to sustain a relationship... though it could help. The problem is that they decided to forget the only string that kept them together, and time and space widened the gap between them.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually closer to my sister now that I'm here, so far away from my home country, but the thing is that we phone call each other a lot. Some space is good, but only if you really care about the relationship and work on keeping it strong. It looks like Mori decided to just buried all her painful past back in Japan, her brother included.
It is true that I can talk a lot with friends after a long time if we have much common memory. In that case, I don't feel meeting after a long time. Of course keeping in touch with each other is necessary to keep the relationship strong as Carla said. I think sending greeting mails is good to do that even if the chance to send is only once a year.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing our powerful memories can be. I recently reconnected with a friend I had not seen or talked with in 20 years, and after spending a few hours together, it felt like no time had passed at all. So many memories came flooding back, and of course she remembered so many more things than I did. And now with Facebook it's even easier to stay connected.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Carla that Mori decided to leave her unhappy past in Japan together with her brother. She didn't really keep Jumpei close when she was mourning her mother. I do believe that the power of memory will be stronger if the memories are being retold over and over. I also believe that livin through the pain from the loss of a family member can make the bond even stronger. Perhaps if Mori shared her memories of her mother with Jumpei and mourn over the death with him, their relationsip will be different now.
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