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How do you know when someone is "just being polite" or they really mean what they are saying? For example, when a person says "we should get together", Mori says that if the person is specific about a date, time, and place, then you can trust that this person wants to spend time with you. However, if the person is vague and doesn't offer a specific date, it may be that they want to appear to be friendly and polite, but they don't have any intention to follow up and make plans.
I think this is very true for Americans. It also makes me wonder if it's okay to be honest about certain things, but better to be polite about others.
Sharmila, one of our bloggers on FamilyNet, has written some great posts about making friends. Check them out! You will need to register for FamilyNet to read these posts.
Making Friends in the U.S. (part 1)
Making Friends in the U.S. (cont...)
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It's very difficult to tell is a new acquaintance uses the phrase "we should get together" as a social convention or as an actual invitation. That's one of the few social niceties most Americans tend to overuse. Have become used to floating out ideas of possible 'get-togethers' and then reading the other person's reaction.
ReplyDeleteHaven't' quite experience a polite non-invitation as Mori described between her stepmother & uncle. In my experience people will give you a long list of excuses why their so busy, otherwise they'd love to get together sometime.
It's so true Kathleen! People say they would love to go to the movies or for coffee, but then have a million reasons why they don't have time.
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