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Although Mori's childhood experience of losing her mother and growing apart from her brother and father is very sad and tragic, her experience of not having close relationships with family members can be very common. There are good reasons that Mori is not close with her brother (they don't share interests, they don't see each other very often), but she still feels guilty about it and wishes her relationship with Jumpei was different.
Have you heard the saying "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family"? My interpretation of this phrase is that you have to accept your family, even if you don't like some of them or you don't have a good relationship with them.
What are your obligations to your family? To respect them? To be polite? To spend time with them even if you don't enjoy their company? To take care of them, physically, emotionally, financially? Are the obligations you have to your parents different than the obligations you have to your brother or sister?
It seems like Mori's mother Takako thought it was important for Mori to care for Jumpei, but once she was gone, the obligation seemed to fade away. No one else expected Mori to be close to Jumpei or to care for him so she didn't.
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My mom always tells me that same saying, "you can choose your friends but can't choose your family" and during my 25 years of living in this world I've come to find out that it is true.
ReplyDeleteYou are born in that family and there is nothing you can do. Maybe there are some family members that you don't like so much, and there are others that you just love no matter what. But there comes a moment in everyone's life when you hit rock bottom and you realize who your friends really are. Personally, I've noticed that I have very few friends, but my family, even those I don't like that much, is always there, and I mean always, no matter what.
So it is not an obligation no respect them or be polite with them, it just come naturally, they've earned my respect and my love.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this Giannina. I think what may start out as an obligation can definitely grow into respect and a deeper love after a family member or friends supports you unconditionally during a difficult time. It's often a crisis that shows you who your "true" friends are.
ReplyDeleteI agree with thoughts of Giannina and Jennifer. We can realize the importance of family and friends when we were supported by them in the difficult situation.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think we naturally get to respect them with aging. When we start living alone and when we become parents, we feel thankful to them and respect them.
That's very true Miwa! When I think back to how I thought about and treated my parents when I was younger, I feel very embarrassed. I hope I can make it up to them now.
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