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All I can do is say “Wow”. I am putting off potty training
for as long as I possibly can, with the theory that the longer I wait, the
easier it will be. It would be great if my 2.5 year old was out of diapers, but
there is no way I could let my daughter pee on the sidewalk in Cambridge. I
would have a really hard time going against the predominant cultural norms on
this one.
There are some serious culture differences in the approach
here. It seems like the key to making early training work is being “laid back
about nudity, body waste and accidents” (page 90). These are definitely not
American attitudes! I wanted to post a photo of split crotch pants, but my Puritan roots made me feel uncomfortable posting a photo of a baby's bare bottom, and I was surprised by my hesitation. I’m also intrigued
by the idea that the Chinese view potty training as “managing waste rather than
training a child” (page 100).
In the US, it seems that potty training is a topic that
provokes lots of unsolicited advice and comments. For a country that isn’t
really uncomfortable with nudity and the human body, we certainly feel
comfortable making judgments about parents training their kids too early or too
late.
For me, this chapter illustrated the tangled intersection
between culture, science, and environment. What’s a parent to do? The advice
from “experts” keeps changing. Your mom has a definite opinion about what you
should, as well as your peers who are parents. What works in the suburbs may
not work in the city or a rural area. And how willing are you to go against
cultural norms? It’s tough work for a
parent to trust his or her own instincts in the middle of all that noise.
Soon or later I’m going to have to take the leap and help
Maia get out of diapers. I think the most important piece of advice I found in
this chapter is to adapt techniques to fit your own life and not to have a
deadline. I would love to hear what you’ve
discovered about potty training, but I hope you don’t mind if I don’t follow your
suggestions.
Jennifer
P.S. I enjoyed reading about making oleo calcadero, a cleanser for baby bottoms. Have you ever made anything
yourself for your baby (other than baby food)?
I didn't know Chinese had such a great pair of pants to potty train! As I was reading I was thinking that I would need one this summer when it will be time for my daughter to learn to go potty. Then I realized she is a girl so she will be wearing skirts and dresses with nothing underneath in the backyard and a pair of underwear in public.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find hard with potty training is that you don't really know what to expect. Is your child going to be resilient, cooperative ... Regarding of your child's attitude, it will be as easy as 1,2,3 or a pain in the neck for months. It's kind of like the lottery, you don't know what child you will end up dealing with ... fortunately, the odds are more in your favor ;) and by the end, he/she will be potty trained!
Adeline
I love the ending sentence of your post, Jennifer :-)
ReplyDeleteFor us, it worked encouraging Manuela on the issue but trying not to push it. I was not ready to spend my days cleaning the carpet or nagging her, and certainly I was not going to allow her to go on the streets - I have seen many reasonable moms who I very much respect as parents letting their kids use the trees or even the space in between cars. However, I just can't.
We tried to take it easy and we started the "training" when we thought she was ready. I don't have much recall of the process, but I don't remember it as hard. Having said that, I do remember carrying around a travel-potty to places like the park and for emergency situations in which there was not a restroom close.
As Adeline says, the big uncertainty is not knowing how the kid will react. Also, my big concern is not knowing the real reasons behind training at one age or the other: is it the best for the kids what we have in mind? Is it parent's convenience? Even worse, are there economical interests behind it (i.e..: diapers companies recommendations)?
This chapter has made me reflect on the importance of letting the kids "discover" what comes out of their bodies, and I am quite attracted by the idea of letting them go diaper free while naked. However, and not being able to scape from my prejudices on "waste management", I am planing to do that on the summer, when we are at the back yard, and when I can keep a close eye on him.
I personally don't like the split crotch pants, but looking around on the Internet I found an interesting web on the "elimination communication" concept and something even more "daring": diaper belts. If curious, take a look: http://www.ecwear.com/EC-Clothing-Guide-Diaper-Belts.html
Thanks Macarena and Adeline! It's true that I have no idea how cooperative or difficult my daughter will be with potty training, and often when I anticipate something being hard, it turns out to be no problem at all. So I'm going to try not to predict or worry what will happen. I'll have my plan in place and then we'll see what happens. I think we all agree it will be easier to train in the summer!
ReplyDeleteMacarena - I agree that it can be tough to separate out what is best for the kids versus what is convenient for the parents. And it's hard to parent when short and long term goals conflict. I have found those to be the toughest parts of parenting so far.