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Were you surprised by Dave's proposal? Were you surprised by Maryam's answer?
What did you think about the way Dave proposed? Did you, like Maryam, think he was "stealing" the sugar ceremony? Or did you think that he was just trying to respect Iranian traditions?
I think Dave was trying to be sweet and respectful and interested in Maryam's culture and traditions. But I also think that it shows he doesn't know Maryam very well. He doesn't understand how difficult it is to maintain customs in a foreign country - something is always lost in translation. Sometimes I think it's better not to try to recreate certain things, it's better to wait and experience them in their home country. It makes me think about Maryam's female relatives sharing their secrets about substituting American ingredients to make Iranian dishes, and always yearning for the real thing.
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From the different situations in which the book presents Dave and Maryam together, I thought that Dave was getting to know Maryam, that he was starting to understand her particular way of living between the American and the Iranian “world”. However, the way he proposed shows that he really does not know her that well. Although I think he was just trying to be kind and in some way he wanted to show her that he respects her culture, you could see that she was not going to like it. Too much public, too much of a show. If he had done it in a different way (that is to say, in a private way), maybe things would have been different.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Macarena's comments. I also think not only the approach bothers Maryam, but also the timing. Maryam was obviously not expecting such a "big" thing to come on that moment, and on that day (so soon!). Dave forgets the fact it takes time to build a relationship (at any ages), or maybe Dave forgets to learn what Maryam truly needs.
ReplyDeleteI think you raise a great point Macarena. Maybe it wasn't so much the taking over of Iranian custom, but the public show of a very private moment, that was the problem. Now we see where Bitsy gets her parties from!
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