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As we read this book together, let’s
try to figure out the culture norms that the descriptions of eating,
sleeping and playing in different countries represent. As Mei-Ling
Hopgood quotes Meredith Small on page 4 “Our cultural rules are in
fact, designed to mold a certain kind of citizen.”
What kind of
citizen is your culture or American culture trying to create? What
cultural values do parents want to pass onto their children?
I don't think it's a question of which culture does it the right way or the better way. But I think raising a child in a culture or country different from where you grew up makes you think about these values and traditions and consciously choose which you will teach your children. It can be hard to go against the cultural norms of where you are living, and I think it helps to understand why people might react negatively or with confusion to how you are living and raising your children, which it is different to what they are used to seeing.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and experience with us as we take this journey around the world and to begin to understand each other better. I'm also very happy to hear if anyone disagrees with me!
If approached with an open mind, I agree raising a child in a country different from where you grew up is a wonderful opportunity to rethink about your own country traditions and learn about different ways of doing things. And then, choosing what makes more sense or/and fits better with your life style.
ReplyDeleteI think you also have to be well informed and convinced about any decision made because, if new values and approaches are embraced, you will probably have to give explanations to grandpas about why their grandkids are being raised in "weird" ways... :-)
Macarena M.
I think you are very right that if you feel secure in whatever decision you have made about parenting, it makes it much easier to defend or explain your reasons to any family members who just don't understand. It is amazing to me how easily we can judge other parents without knowing very much about their personal situation or their unique children for that matter. I'd like to give most parents the benefit of the doubt, that they are doing the best they can with the resources they have.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that for the most part, feeling like you are bucking culture ends up with lots of advice from strangers (telling you what you SHOULD be doing instead or comments about how busy you are/better you than me) or venting from those who feel that strangers or family are imposing their beliefs on how they choose to parent. It is sort of sad that people feel they have to be careful how they answer questions, so that they don't open themselves to unwanted advice.
ReplyDeleteIt also seems that the advice often comes from a place of self-defense: the adviser wants to defend the way they chose to parent and thus tells a stranger/family member that he should do what "I" did.
Carson, I think you're exactly on target about the defensiveness some parents, relatives or strangers may feel about their own parenting, when confronted with something new or different. Thanks very much for adding to this conversation!
ReplyDelete